CG – the new weight loss program

So I was strolling around the internet the other day when I came upon a picture of Angelina Jolie with that menacing sexual expression she so often wears, with her body half submerged in water, her hair perfectly slicked back. Then Saturday I was putzing around the video store doing my weekly thing, when I saw this same picture on the back of Beowulf.

 

Okay, now I never saw this film but I knew it was all cg. But since Angelina Jolie looks exactly the same as she does in real like, what’s the point of cg?

 

And Ray Winstone? Now I’ve got nothing against Ray, but what’s the point of modeling the main character after him when they’re shaving off all his daddy weight?

Beowulf: biggest example of the misuse of cg of the past decade. Ew.

Vitus

I’ve seen Shine, I’ve seen Amadeus and a score of other films about troubled musicians. Most recently however, I ventured forth into the foreign film section to see a Swiss take on growing up a genius. A 2006 film by Fredi M. Murer, Vitus looks at the pre-pubescent years of Vitus, an incredibly smart and highly talented piano player. Though it seems great to be smarter than all your classmates and the teacher, Vitus’ arrogance and the short rope he’s on with his mom make life not so sweet. The only way for the precocious young boy to escape the trap of his own intelligence is by letting go of what he loves most.

 

There’s something highly unique about this film though it portrays what many films have portrayed in past. Vitus’ suffering doesn’t land him in a mental hospital, nor is there some disproportionately tragic event that determines the fate of the movie. The story is highly realistic in its simplicity and the contrast between his tense relationship with his parents and with his relationship with his quiet grandfather is something you can relate to: 4/5.

Indie, Independent or Industry?

The new “in” trend for moviegoing is NOT seeing a mainstream film.  If you’re going to see Juno instead of Rambo X you’re doing pretty good. If you’re seeing an even smaller production, Pieces of April for example, then you’re just plain high-class. But exactly how many of these films are really what they’re being sold as? Are “independent” and “indie” just terms that smart marketing staff use to pull us into a studio-supported film?

Following the general definition of the word, it follows that an independent film should be free from any studio support – as in no help producing, distributing, exhibiting. But if we look at Juno for example – is that really the case? The company that handled the bulk of production costs – about $7,500,000 was Fox Searchlight Pictures. Now Fox Searchlight pictures is the “independent” house of guess who? 20^th Century Fox. What is 20^th Century Fox? A studio. A big one. The same goes for other companies like Focus Features, Fine Line and many others. All are owned by studios.

So, the next time you’re choosing between Step Up 2 and There Will Be Blood, ask yourself while battling your way through LA traffic – if you’re actually seeing what you think you’re seeing.

Clueless – Clueless or Clued in?

            Whether or not it was your choice, it is likely that if you are over the age of twenty, you have watched Amy Heckerling’s 1995 film, and one of Alicia Silverstone’s best known films (for better or for worse), Clueless.

            For those who are either too old or just had a weird juvenile experience, this is a film which at first glance is about three things and three things only: Beverly Hills, rich popular high school kids, and clothes. It does not strike one as the most intelligent piece of media genius. Yet in her essay, “Emma in Los Angeles: Remaking the Book and the City,” Leslie Stern argues that Clueless is actually a work of socio-literary importance (gasp!). The foundation for this claim lies in the film and its main character’s similarity to Jane Austen’s book and character, Emma. Like Austen’s examination of the small village of Highbury as a microcosm of England, so too does Heckerling examine the phenomenon of Beverly Hills as the perceived microcosm of Los Angeles. Indeed, when Cher’s friend first introduces the idea of attending a party in the valley, Cher’s response is as if such a venture was comparable to a Dantean exploration of hell; and when Cher’s father calls about to get her home from her “study night with friends” ASAP and Cher protests the time constraint, he says that no where in LA is more than twenty minutes away.

             An interesting essay with many more unexpected insights, it’s worth a gander for anyone curious how such a film could possibly merit critical interest.

So bad it’s good: Balls of Fury

Imagine your favorite “inspiration sports” film. Now give the main character sideburns – the kind that look like they could spear missed food – a beer belly and a blind horny master. Make Christopher Walken his adversary.

 

This is pretty much the set-up for Balls of Fury, Robert Ben Garant’s 2007 sports spoof film about ping pong-ing one’s way to glory and cracking an FBI case. As a kid, Randy Daytona (Ben Fogler) was ping-pong god. But Mr. Daytona was prone to gambling, and when his son had an unlucky game, infamous Feng (Christopher Walken) and his thugs had to take care of business fatal-style. Ever since then, Daytona’s been away from the table, or at least until a couple decades later that is, when Agent Ernie Rodriguez comes asking for his help tracking down ping-pong obsessed Feng.

 

What ensues is an utterly ridiculous training period where blind Master Wong (James Hong) and his stud pong-master niece make Daytona hit balls and bees with a wooden spoon. But all this practice pays off when Daytona’s skills get him, his master and Agent Ernie into Feng’s private tournament where “sudden death” is a literal expression (once you lose a game, one of Feng’s female companions uses a blow-tube that shoots poisoned needles into your neck).

 

Admittedly I got a lot of laughs out of this film, but that doesn’t mean you should pay money to rent it. You should get your friend or sibling to front the dollars and then watch it when they’re not looking. There’s so much tokenizing and foul humor it’s definitely a guilty pleasure: 2/5.

A salute to “senior taste”: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

            Thought its release date – March 27, 2008 – resulted in much less hype than a December or summer release film sold for its young, foxy leads (ie: Atonement, Keira Knightley and James McAvoy), Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (Bharat Nalluri, 2008) is in many ways superior to these temporal waves of thick melodrama.

            Set in London just before its entrance to World War II, middle-aged Guinevere Pettigrew finds herself once more unemployed. An unconventional but determined governess, Pettigrew steals a business card from her harsh employment agent, thus beginning the most eccentric day of her life. The card belongs to a Ms. Delysia Lafosse, a delightful but “confused” aspiring singer-actress with more than your average career dilemmas. She lives with a nightclub owner so that he’ll let her sing at his venue; yet in this very flat she also sleeps with a young clueless producer so he will give her the part in his upcoming play; and while she humorously maintains these other two affairs, Delysia is in love with the penniless but charming Michael Pardue, who accompanies her club singing on piano.

            When Miss Pettigrew arrives she becomes Delysia’s “social secretary” on more than a professional level. She must help this young woman, in reality the ordinary daughter of a Jersey steelman, choose the right chap; but concealing the truth about herself, keeping Delysia’s professional interests in mind, and being true to her own heart makes for a whirlwind day for Miss Guinevere Pettigrew…  

            A light-hearted piece with plenty of old-fashioned humor – expect the theater to be full of old folks – because they can have admirable film judgment! 4/5.

Bringin back the good ole fest spirit

As you may notice if you ever attend film festivals in Los Angeles or any large city for that matter, it’s a place that was meant for big events. It’s already got theaters, hotels, bars galore. The press, sponsors and viewers are just a drive away. But have you ever considered what a film festival would be like in a rural setting, free of ready-made venues and other cosmopolitan amenities? Then the 35th Telluride Film Festival August 29-September 1, 2008 is a must-see.

Based in the small mountain town of Telluride in the grand state of Colorado, this film festival is about as opposite as you can get from any LA fest. Going strong since 1972, it’s a four day heaven of approximately thirty-five projects (15 shorts, 20 features). It gives neither free press passes nor juried awards. Instead, Telluride prides itself on screening old and new films alike, talkies and silents, films in color and films in black in white. It prides itself in maintaining a standard for fresh media as it shows no film previously screened on the North American continent. Finally, Telluride is all about the people committed to film as opposed to those who live off of film. Every year there is a guest director, three tributees, and honored recipients of a special Silver Medallion who shape the group discussions.

A truly unique event, rated in the top ten film festivals in the world, Telluride is a dream for any film enthusiast at heart.

Il Postino (Michael Radford, 1994)

Usually I base my film selections on reviews online or recommendations from fellow friends. But it was actually a date that recommended Il Postino to me two years ago. It took me this long to get around to it – not just because I didn’t trust the judgement of someone who ended up having a girlfriend on the side – but because I’ve been busy. But despite bad blood, it was worth the wait for this film.

Il Postino tells the story of a humble postman Mario Ruoppolo who brings mail to the famous Chilean communist poet Pablo Neruda (apparently they didn’t like communists in Chile too much at the time…). In any case, Mr. Neruda gets quite a bit of mail as he has several fans – many of which Mario goofily remarks are female – so he and the postman become friends. Ruoppolo, totally enamored with the life of the poet and his way with women, asks Neruda to help him woo a local tabern-woman, Beatrice Russo. In his attempt at wooing Beatrice, the poet becomes a sort of role model to Mario. Not only does the postman grow interested in poetry, but he also becomes an active communist, the effects of which you might interpret as good or bad or both.

A sweet film that celebrates a simplicity in life and love: 4/5.

Fantasy Adaptations – The New Blockbuster Trend

Since the first Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, there has been huge increase in fantasy book adaptations on-screen. Now using pre-sold property such as books and transforming them into films is not new for our blockbuster-seeking Hollywood execs. Ever since the making of Jaws in 1975 based on Peter Benchley’s novel by the same title, this has been The money-making formula. But since Chris Columbus and Peter Jackson started using this formula specifically for fantasy books, and a revived fandom on par with the Trekkies movement arose, everyone has wanted to jump on the bandwagon.

In the last couple of years alone, films like The Golden Compass, Lemony Snickets: A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Chronicles of Narnia and most recently, The Spiderwick Chronicles have all been scripted from young adult books in the fantasy fiction aisle. Unfortunately for them however – and one might argue this for the Potter and Frodo works as well – they’re really just “entertaining” films based on much better books. Some of them try to condense too much story into too little film (not like two hours could ever be enough for some of these…), some of them dumb down books that are actually quite dark in order to attract a wider audience, and most of them try to cover all this up with special effects.

Why must we ride the wave of success of other films for $8.75 a pop? I’d rather nap.

Step Up – A Total Lapse in Judgement

This last week was a glorious blur of painkillers, ice and mental fog as I battled my way through the recovery period for wisdom teeth extraction. As I lay on my couch with an icepack on each cheek fastened with athletic wrap – causing a constant and involuntary fishface – I thought that the time was opportune for the enjoyment of a bad movie. A salsa teacher myself, I generally appreciate other forms of dance. And since I’ve seen all the films that deem to consider themselves “latin dance films,” and since Step Up 2 was in theatres, I bewitchedly decided to rent Step Up. Now it must be said that my primary interest in the film was the dancing. My bar for performance was distinctly below the belt to begin, but such piffle did these actors and script present, that it was only the bitter knowledge that I had payed $3.50 for the rental that kept me seated until the credits.

The film rips off some plot aspect from every dance film out there. We have our bad-boy who vandalizes the Maryland School of Arts and has to pay his dues with community service at the site of the indiscretion; and we have our good girl, who is a dance student at the school preparing for her senior show when her partner inconveniently twists his ankle. What follows is to be expected: girl’s boyfriend is dropped, bad-boy steps in, twinkle-toes meets white Usher, and they make sweet choreography to the sound of techno violins at the senior show.

This film is bad, but since it does not breach the master of all badness, Mac and Me, 1.8/5.